Summary:
A recent study published in Frontiers in Psychology has revealed four major challenges that older adults face in their intimate relationships. These challenges include infidelity and jealousy, relationship estrangement, undesirable changes in personality, and illnesses and somatic issues. The study found that infidelity is a significant issue for older adults, as they often feel that their advanced age puts them at a disadvantage to move on and find love again. Jealousy can also be a problem, particularly when it comes to ex-partners or children from previous relationships. Relationship estrangement is another challenge, as older adults often perceive their relationship problems and emotional disconnection as more stressful and painful. Undesirable changes in personality can also put a strain on elderly relationships, particularly when they are caused by unfavorable life events or illnesses. Finally, the onset of illness or becoming a caregiver can diminish relationship quality and satisfaction.
Full Story:
Older adults face a unique set of challenges when it comes to their intimate relationships. A recent study published in Frontiers in Psychology has shed light on some of these challenges, revealing four major issues that older adults encounter in their relationships.
The first challenge is infidelity and jealousy. According to the study, infidelity is a significant issue for older adults, as they often feel that their advanced age puts them at a disadvantage to move on and find love again. Jealousy can also be a problem, particularly when it comes to ex-partners or children from previous relationships. One participant in the study, a 64-year-old woman, said that she had experienced a mental breakdown after discovering that her husband had been receiving love messages from another woman. Another participant, a 60-year-old woman, said that her partner was jealous of her children and grandchildren, and refused to communicate with them.
The second challenge is relationship estrangement. Older adults often perceive their relationship problems and emotional disconnection as more stressful and painful. They consider themselves to have less time left, which intensifies their concerns and makes them believe that they lack other prospects. This can lead to a decline in shared activities and a lack of interest in one’s partner. One participant in the study, a 44-year-old woman, said that she and her partner had not slept together for the last three years, and that they had no communication or shared activities.
The third challenge is undesirable changes in personality. These changes can be caused by unfavorable life events, illnesses, or deterioration of executive functions. Participants in the study reported that personality changes such as aggressiveness, laziness, stinginess, and bitterness could put a strain on their relationships. One participant, a 63-year-old woman, said that her husband had changed dramatically after they both retired, becoming aggressive and difficult to live with.
The fourth and final challenge is illnesses and somatic issues. The onset of illness, becoming a caregiver, facing sexual difficulties, or the moral obligation to take care of a sick partner can diminish relationship quality and satisfaction. Participants in the study reported that becoming a caregiver could be an unexpected burden, leading to a shift in the relationship and making individuals feel less like a couple and more like patient-and-caretaker.
These challenges highlight the complexities inherent in gray relationships. The awareness of finite time can cast a shadow over the prospect of seeking new connections. While starting anew may seem daunting, it’s essential to embrace the possibility of fulfilling relationships at any stage of life. By acknowledging that it’s not over until it’s over, older adults can cultivate hope, resilience, and a willingness to explore new avenues of connection and intimacy.
Citations:
* Travers, M. (2023). A Psychologist Shares 4 Pitfalls That Can Sabotage ‘Senior Love’. Forbes. <https://www.forbes.com/sites/traversmark/2023/05/04/a-psychologist-shares-4-pitfalls-that-can-sabotage-senior-love/?sh=6a9e4e0e7e6c>
* AARP. (2022). Divorce After 50. <https://www.aarp.org/relationships/divorce-after-50/>
* Frontiers in Psychology. (2023). Challenges in Intimate Relationships of Older Adults. <https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1050877>